Knock Knock, Go the fuck away, please!

A few weeks ago, I roll up to my apartment and there is a cat chillin on my neighbors patio wall so I reach up and pet it and say "Hi, kittie kittie." God knows why I stop to pet strange cats when I have FOUR waiting for me inside. My neightbor stands up and says "His name is Mouse." Shit, I didn't even know he was out there! My husband and I don't really go out of our way to meet our neighbors becuase we're private people and we've had bad experiences in the past. Anyway, so they guy goes on and on about his cat, who is from the same little as my newest cat, so we talk about that a little bit and I go inside.

Next thing I know, there's a knock on the door. I look through the peep hole to make sure it's not the cops (lol, it's always the cops in my mind) and it's my neighbor, I'll call him Don. Don says his cat is in my patio and can I please get him because he's afraid he'll run away. Well then keep him inside you fuck! Whatever. I grab his cat, hand it to him over the wall and go back inside. Half an hour later the same thing happens again. A little while later I go into my patio and the fucking cat is back there AGAIN. Okay, this is fucking annoying. I scoop up the cat, take him next door and return him to Don. Don asks if I think Mouse will run away and I said cats know where to get their food, and I'm sure he'll come back. He asked if my cats go outside, I said "No, they are strictly indoor cats." That may seem cruel, but it's for their own good, I assure you.

Later on, about 10, my husband comes home from work and we're just about to indulge in a bowl when there's a knock at our door. I made a face at my husband like 'it's fucking crazy Don from next door.' Look through the peephole and there's Don holding Mouse. It's 10 at night!! So I open the door and he says: "He wants to see his sister." and I give my husband a look like "are you fucking kidding me?!" so I bring Bella over, who hasn't seen this other cat in 4 months and then I get clawed the fuck up because she's angry there's another cat in her space. DUH! Don is obviously retarded. You don't bring an animal into someone's house. They aren't children, they aren't going to play, they're going to fight to defend their territory. Not to mention I spent a shit load of money getting Bella de-nastied from being outside, and he brings over this grubby cat who I'm sure is crawling with fleas and worms!

We spend a few minutes in the doorway (I will NEVER let this guy inside. EVER) and he saw our other cats and we talked a little bit and when things finally were too weird he leans in and says "Can I be froward? Can I get a little weed off of you?" ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! So we oblige "just this once" and he leaves us the fuck alone for the rest of the night. We don't hear from him for a couple days and then one night.....Don's knocking on the fucking door again!

My husband stays up late because he works evenings and he's kind of a night owl, so he hears what goes on around the complex in the wee hours of the morning when he's out on the patio having a smoke. From what he can tell Don, and his brother "Danny" are crack heads. Literally. Greeeeaaaaat. Now I will seriously NEVER let him inside. Don knocks on the door every few days looking for weed and we tell him we don't have any, shut the door and smoke a bowl...We have friends drop by through the weekend, and you know you can smell it coming from our apartment. It doesn't matter! I'm not this guy's friend! We just happen to live next door to eachother.

One morning, at 4 fucking 30, Don knocks on our door and rings our doorbell over and over like a, well, like a crackhead would. We didn't answer the door. I heard him say "What's up, man!" through the door. What's up?! It's fucking 4:30 in the morning you daft fuck! Even if you see my husband go outside for a smoke, dont assume you can come knocking on our door! CHRIST! What the fuck is wrong with people?! I think this dude's got the wrong idea...

ANYWAY.... the knocking still hasn't stopped, despite us ignoring it repeatedly....I think I just need to tell him not to knock on our door anymore. I don't want to be rude about it, but shit! Love thy Neighbor only goes so far.